Tag Archives: Tributary

The Best Soccer Award Is Waking Up & Being Xavi Hernandez

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Elliott

Awards are for the vain folk that feel the need to be rewarded for greatness. An award, usually a piece of precious metal, is handed to an individual, usually a sentient homo sapiens, based on that individual’s contributions to a … Continue reading →

Posted in Barcelona, Champions League, La Liga | Tagged | 14 Comments

The Baffling & Blessed Grace of One Argentine Lionel Messi

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Elliott

I’ve heard there was a special chord That Ray Hudson sang when Messi scored But you don’t really care for pundits, do you? It goes like this The fourth, the fifth The Xavi pass, the Andres split The baffled d … Continue reading →

Posted in Barcelona, Champions League, La Liga | Tagged | 2 Comments

The Gerard Depardieu Appreciation Society Proudly Draws Your Attention to X Player…

Posted on October 3, 2011 by Elliott

Genius is not always recognized in its time. Genius is not even always recognized in its own language. We of the present must sometimes toil to correct the omissions, slights, and errors of the past. But above all, we must … Continue reading →

Posted in What? | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Paul Scholes: the Brilliance of Lightning Sans Thunder

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Elliott

There’s only one Paul Scholes. And after his testimonial game, we probably will never see him don a red jersey ever again. To categorize Scholes is to do him cosmic injustice. To describe a talent beyond words is a fool’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Manchester United | Tagged | 2 Comments

Michael Carrick: the Ghost Hides Himself Behind Success

Posted on May 25, 2011 by Elliott

Dearly beloved, I am honored to have been elected to deliver this eulogy for a man known to some, seen by few, and widely ignored by most. In fact, he is not dead. Nowhere near. In actuality, his career probably … Continue reading →

Posted in EPL, Manchester United | Tagged | 8 Comments

Zlatan Ibrahimovic – In a League of His Own Making

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Elliott

Zlatan’s year at Barcelona was the most disappointing 21 goal campaign in history. The reason was simple: square pegs, no matter what the quality of wood, will never fit into a circular hole. For all his individual brilliance, Zlatan struggled … Continue reading →

Posted in Serie A | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Pandora’s Box of Chocolates: Why We Love Chicharito

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Elliott

Brian Phillips of the Run of Play wrote a wonderful portrait about Pato a few years back, focusing on the fine line between potential and accomplishment. He articulated the “Lolita theory of fanlove” – we as fans project dreams and … Continue reading →

Posted in Manchester United | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Feel the Wrath of Andrei's Arsha-Vengeance

Posted on December 10, 2010 by Elliott

Arsenal sits top of the English table and the fleet-footed Frenchman Nasri dances to the praise of pundits the world over. Including me. However, a stocky and quick-thinking Russian also deserves some love. Other blogs would debate about Andrei’s recent … Continue reading →

Posted in Arsenal | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Pide Piper Pippo: A Bale Comparison

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Elliott

Yesterday everybody screamed the praises of one Gareth Bale, one week after a certain disreputable website sang his praises by comparison to the Garbage Pale kids. That disreputable website was this one. And I admit my mistake. Gareth Bale is … Continue reading →

Posted in Champions League | Tagged | 3 Comments

A Tribute: Tottenham's Garbage Bale Kid

Posted on October 21, 2010 by Elliott

In the mid80′s, a plague descended upon the land of children toys. The Cabbage Patch kids were as popular as they were antiseptic – ubiquitous in the toy bin of any middle class child, they oozed politically correct proclamations that … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment
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