Were you planning on attending MLS Cup this November in Seattle? To be honest – I wasn’t. At least until, one day, while sipping a latte and reading the Guardian cover-to-cover in Googlereader and listening to the BBC, a group of masked thugs kicked in the front door to my house. In the blink of an eye, I was face down on the ground, my arm twisted to the breaking point and the nuzzle of a cold revolver against my head…

The gruffled voice said to me in a poorly imitated French accent:  “So, Monseur Tucker, ve noticed yoo took down za nondescribt text ad. Vy?” My throat almost jumped through my mouth – it was Razorgator.

The voice then said “Ve vill overlook this insult just once, but only if you tell zem exactly vat I say. Now open your little netbook and type…”

Ahem.

Razorgator has several seating options still available for MLS Cup in Seattle and for November, you get $10 Off Any RazorGator Purchase over $100 with code take10off

Ahem.

Before I could scream for mercy, beg that they leave my children alone, or explain my blog consists of two readers, my wife and mother, the thug pistol whipped me into unconsciousness.

I awoke two days later in a confused state – was it all a dream? I hopped on my netbook and, to my dismay, razorgator did have several tickets to MLS Cup and the coupon worked. I was too afraid to call the police, but I did get a second deadbolt for the front door…