So, I heard there’s a game today. I wouldn’t know. After the Copa del Rey final, I made a resolution to turn off my television and not watch any more games until Benzema hit puberty and Andres Iniesta retired. But I’m horrible at keeping resolutions. And like a fried plantain destined to induce early onset diabetes, I have caved, opened my mouth, and am ready to expel some truth.
First, this game is all about Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi. Don’t let any encyclopedia fool you. There are not 20 other players on the field at the same time. And who really cares about statistics anyway? Twitter-addicts starved for content? Yes. But definitely nobody by that definition blogs in these parts. So play close attention to the number of touches-per-frustrated-facial-and-or-hand-gestures-per-millisecond of both Ronaldo and Messi. If you cannot find a site with such stats at hand, then get out a pen and paper to keep track yourself. Then, after the game, roll up the piece of paper and eat it. Then douse your neck in gasoline and light yourself on fire. Only you must know the truth.
Second, I have never been worried about Mourinho leaving Madrid. At least not of his own accord. He speaks in double-speak, so his flirtations with Portugal and potshots at Pellegrini reflected his twisted desire to remain in charge. Still, seeing his recent smirk and press conference shenanigans brought a smirk of my own. Mou learned from Manuel’s errors by prioritizing the two competitions not entirely dependent on consistency. Madrid went years without caring about the Copa del Rey, until Mou realized the psychological importance of a potential victory against Barca. Winning the cup is not important, as evidenced by Sergio Ramos’ butter fingers. But penetrating Barca’s air of invincibility proved priceless.
Third, let’s vomit through this topic again. Barcelona has constructed a monopoly of the mind – by repetition, the world accepts their patient (slow) passing based approach as “beautiful.” I find this odd, because US collegiate basketball had a similar “four corner offense” which was so plodding successful it led to the invention of the shot clock. Because of this assumption, Barcelona cannot lose. If they win, it is a victory for slow-possession (read: beautiful) soccer. If they lose, it is because the loser played trash (read: non-slow-possession) soccer. The circularity makes the head spin.
Which leads to point Four. What about defense? Why can’t we construct wonderful images of defense and praise back lines? Are we too far removed from Fabio Cannvaro’s 2006 World Cup Player of the Tournament award? An example. In the 2008 European Cup, Spain played Italy in the knock-out rounds. The two extremes butted heads: Spain would rather connect a ten foot pass than dirty the field with a shot on goal, while Italy would rather defend without the ball than risk a shot on goal. The result was a matador encounter in the plaza de toros where the bull, rather than running into a cape, sat down on a leather sofa, pulled out a pipe, and began to flip through the daily newspaper. Boring for all watching? Yawnerrific yes. But why cry when the bull doesn’t play along?
Fifth, Iniesta. I’m not convinced that the Spaniard’s late “calf injury” isn’t more than a mindtrick and we will see Andres start vs. Madrid. This bothers me. Greatly. Inter in last year’s semis and Germany in the World Cup showed that if you double Messi and push him wide, his effectiveness drops considerably. Meanwhile, Xavi does not need to be rushed, only followed and stood in front of. But Andres has no answer. One cannot grasp mercury. If you press him, he dances around you. If you stand back, he sidefoots a lethal pass forward. Lass has a better chance of grasping mercury than stopping Mr. Sideburns.
Regardless of the outcome, recent wounds have started to heal. If Madrid does not lose 2-6, then Mou has made progress. Soon, we may start to recall the pasillo in the Bernabeu from a few years back. And we can dream of a sprinkler-filled evening at the Nou Camp in a week’s time.
Photo: Reuters
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Real destroyed the invincibility myth around Barcelona and this is the first and most important step in conquering their rivals in these last two rounds of El Classico. Mourinho’s training philosophy and tactics are probably the best in the world and he knows how to apply them to make them work. I expect another narrow home win for Real.