So yes, I fell off the MLS bandwagon. It’s been ages since I last posted witty banter about that North American upstart of a league. In fact, rather than talking about the league, I last reflected upon the potential strike that never materialized. This time, I shall similarly spew my truth on topics outside the field. Well, outside specific players and games and winning and losing etc. etc. That is to say – I will focus on the field. The FC Dallas field. The FC Dallas soccer-specific stadium field.
And those little white lines which define American futbol.
Culture is like gravity – you can’t wrap your hands around it, but you also can’t escape it. For years, the MLS “labor cost conscious Wal-Mart model” has strived to erect soccer specific stadiums throughout these here United States of America. The rationale was simple in terms of short-term economics: why pay rent when you can own? In terms of quality, a rambunctious crowd in a 15,000 seat stadium is better than the cavernous echoes of empty sections in concrete cathedrals of American football. But in this push, a big compromise has been made.
Let’s take a look at the kick-off for the delightfully entertaining FC Dallas vs. Real Salt Lake game.
A gorgeous fall afternoon in North Texas, what could be prettier? The grass is green, the wind is brisk, the sun shines brightly, and wait, take a look at the grass. Is this a game of futbol? Or football?
Now, I know your obvious reaction – the yard dashes are there as markers for new soccer fans. American fans like to know the inches, feet, and ten yard blocks of space on the field. We have a very keen eye for detail, you see. Soccer, with its lack of concussions, free-flowing play, and limited size boxes confounds our craving for techno-rationality based in minute observances. If the sport does not allow us to argue over inches, then what good could it possibly serve? Thus, surely the ten yard dashes served that purpose. Right?
Wrong. A brief bit of investigation showed the real reason behind the dash marks. Keep in mind that Pizza Hut Park was built as as soccer specific stadium, FC Dallas has just finished a great regular season, and are in the midst of a heated playoff push. So what do they advertise predominantly on the Pizza Hut Park website?
Yep. American football. And those lines which carve up a gorgeous mass of greenery? The markings for that sport. Even in victory, a thousand small battles have been lost. Will Pizza Hut Park eventually turn into a showcase for lower division collegiate American Football matches? Keep your fingers crossed!
In the meantime, we have a new decree for our MLS manifesto: thou shall not deface thy deity “The Pitch.”
No related posts.
I’m an avid supporter of FCD, have been since day one of the Dallas Burn. Going back farther, I used to make my mother cart me from Arlington to Dallas to see the glorious Tatu making hay for the Sidekicks.
Having said that. I’m appalled, and not surprised. Frisco is the North Texas equivalent of Milton Keynes. PHP should never have been constructed in a town that was itself constructed as a home for Ikea and fake boobs.
Lamar Hunt must be rolling over in his grave seeing what his idiot son is up to. Bless him.
Patrick,
I am laughing out loud at work, so I’m kinda mad at you. Kudos for describing the American exurbs in one eloquent and hysterically accurate sentence!