So, the World Cup is over. The season is weeks away. However, for all the nascent capitalists and “managers in their own minds”, the open transfer season is a joyous occasion with the exuberance, spontaneity, and substance of a middle school dance. Wait, did somebody from Europe mention Landon Donovan’s name? Really? REALLY!!! I’ve got to visit the various sites and forums in order to confirm the substance of that unsubstantiated rumor and potentially post my own reflections on how it would forever change my life. For the better.
So, no. I am not Mister Manager. The gossip tales do not tug at my heartstrings. Press conferences and asides from overpaid agents do not make me salivate at the mouth. Why? Too much smoke. Not enough fire.
Except for this one.
The ever excellent Argentine footy blogger at HEGS brought to my attention a very curious case – the Juan Roman Riquelme anti-transfer transfer. You see, most transfers involve a player going from one team to another. However, Riquelme’s contract ended, yet he wants to stay at Boca. Some individuals refer to this as a “renewal”, “resigning”, or an “extension.” I prefer anti-transfer transfer.
But the differences between this anti-transfer transfer and the typical gossip mill transfers do not end there. Oh no. You see, most players say “it’s not about the money” while the clubs talk about “building contenders.” Granted, there are a few exceptions. Regardless, the Juan Roman Riquelme anti-transfer transfer is in an entirely different dimension, a dimension where your eyes, like, are worthless because the fourth dimension, like, does that to your eyes.
Why?
Well, I could only speculate on the fourth dimension’s effects on your mind’s capacity to perceive different dimensions, but in the case of Juan Roman Riquelme we have some solid facts. Yes, Riquelme, the publicity darling and coaches pet who has twice resigned from the national team, let out the hysterically vapid details.
First, Riquelme is furious that the Boca Juniors offer pegged his maximum salary to the Argentine peso. Riquelme, an astute economist who in his spare time invests in the London Stock Exchange and reads the Wall Street Journal, fears that a rising dollar and weakening peso could significantly lower his pay.
Second, Boca Juniors absolutely insists that Riquelme include his (presumably worthless) transfer rights so that they can use it as a tax write off. Yes, the man who lead Villareal to the Champions League semi-finals now has a negative transfer value. How the mighty have fallen. And Boca along with him.
So, there you have it. The key thing in this anti-transfer transfer mill of truth, not rumors, is unashamedly money. And no, not just in terms of figures, but rather tax write-offs and currency speculation. This is some seriously delectable estate planning money grabbery, almost on par with Arshavin’s complaint about the English income tax hike. Almost.
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