Yes, the picture of the former US president reading a book upside down has made a special return appearance. No, I am not starting a “every Tuesday” Spanglish refresher lesson. Most of you failed the final quiz, I realized I was an abject failure as a teacher, and…I missed writing these.

Plus, inspiration came in the way of an amusing Landon Donovan commercial in which the Toffees man took a break between German and English loan spells to shoot a lottery commercial.So, to get this reconciliation started properly, I get down on my knees (me arrodillo) and began for forgiveness (pido disculpas). I swear Spanglish, those Portuguese lessons at livemocha were only short-term (de paso), I never….I never meant to hurt you! Please, please take me back.

Okay, now we move to the task at hand. Donovan did a lottery commercial for the Mexican lottery. The premise: Donovan tries to sneak himself south of the border to play the lottery! He is stopped by Mexican border patrol, a prospect as likely as Neil Armstrong walking on the Moon a second spell. Make that Neil Young. And Saturn.

But still, a pretty riske move on Donovan’s part. And I laudit him for finding international sponsors and starting his acting career pre-retirement, unlike Eric Cantona. And here’s the clip…

So here is your super scientific translation.

First line: Soy Mexicano. I am Mexican.

Donovan loses 1 point on the mocho scale for saying the “x” in Mexicano. But he gets a bonus point for saying “soy” instead of “yo soy”, a common error that while grammatically correct is a giveaway you come from anglolandia.

Second line: Es que…ganar en Mexico es mas facil. It’s that…to win in Mexico is easier.

Donovan loses 1 point for the tone, which does not descend like a native Mexican. Still, the pronunciation and the pause were spot on, so he gained 4 bonus points.

Third Line: No No No, hablo de ganagol. No No No, I talk of ganagol.

This is a draw. On the one hand, you can hear him think about saying the “h” to start of “hablar.” On the other hand, he tried so hard! Err, so “ard.

Fourth Line: Es la mas facil que ganar porque son once partidos. It is the easiest to win because there are only eleven games.

I give Donovan a bonus point for saying such a long sentence without taking a breathing break. However, I deduct points for misleading content – from a statistical perspective, the quantity of games does not alter the probability of winning. Thus, Donovan is an accomplice to the ganagol scheme, which inevitably has some link to dirty cartel money.

Should he be throw in jail and have the key placed on the collar of a menacing rottweiler? No, just a friendly but easily distracted miniature schnauzer. And it is more than a coincidence that he leaves to England when this commercial comes out…

Related posts:

1. No quick motions – Hands to the Sky. Now!
2. Donovan & Cahill – SHAKE THE SHACKLES
3. Donovan Deal May Alienate MLS players?