Very few people realize that in addition to walking his dogs, managing lower tier English teams, and glaring at reporters, Roy Keane follows the Premiership avidly and is a keen reader of classic literature. Recently, he was impressed by a robust and tenacious Fernando Torres and shared a few thoughts with us on “el nino” and a few others…

On Achilles’ demise at Troy as recounted in the Iliad…

Self knowledge is the root of all knowledge. In my playing days I had a bit less height than the other lads, so I had to use my center of gravity and hip check taller blokes. Still, fate and time destine us all to have weaknesses, weaknesses which we must ourselves explore and defend. Achilles could have had any minor goddess he wanted and teased out some crucial information, but, simply put, he didn’t. If I had been Achilles, I would have had a titanium boot covering that heel and I also would never have left my blindspot so poorly guarded. Achilles had his chances – I feel no pity for the man. And the Hector celebration was a bit in poor taste.

On Odysseus’ bad luck in the Odyssey…

Here’s the deal – despite my rough edges, I’m a family man. I may have broken some anterior cruciate ligaments in blind rages, but when I see a smiling three year old I roll over like a dachshund. In that wain, Odysseus had a young son, Telemachus, and still left to fight the Trojans despite his opposition to the war. I know some people say “all’s well that ends well,” but as a man you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask – do I really need to fight this fight? All of his later problems sprung from that ill fated and poorly thought out initial decision.

On Aeneas’ misfortune in the Aeneid…

Well, first off, I don’t agree with his leaving Troy. Your city in flames, your women raped, your family heirlooms plundered, I would have taken out a few enemies and died a soldier. But let’s just assume, assume, a-s-s-u-m-e it’s okay to run away with your tail tucked between your legs – if you really want to get home, how about you not spend so much time in the lovenest of Dido? How about you not go on “hunting expeditions” or “enter caves” with a goddess whose husband was murdered by his brother? Is that really the type of family you want to get involved with?

On Fernando Torres’ predicament at Anfield…

A lot of lesser men could look around and say, you know what, I play alongside Ryan Babel and depend on Yossi Benayoun for service? Okay, I just clocked in – five hundred tweets later – okay, I just clocked out. But not this young tenacious Spaniard. Against Villa, he pounced on that loose ball in the box like a starving Grizzly Bear snaps up Salmon in Alaska. You get the feeling he would snag a kitten from a mansion ablaze without batting one of his boyish eyelashes. But the babyface doesn’t fool me, not for one second. If I had to pick one mate to watch my back in a barfight aside from Patrick Vieira, it would be Torres. And I don’t say that lightly. My advice for Fernando is simple – never change, and don’t let anyone else change you.

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