In the Spirit of Stealing Content Part 5

So, you brushed off your espanol with last week’s thievery post, but now I have a bit of hazy-maze-puzzle for you. A feminist friend sent me a link lamenting that a women footy club in Naquera, Spain, faced with severe financial difficulties, did the unthinkable – they pulled off a Brandi Chastain…in calendar form.

Allegedly, the ladies posed for a scandalous soccer calendar to raise funds. Yes, Simone De Beauvoir rolls in her grave and my postmodern-liberal-radical feminist mind races in circles and circles. Is this a good thing? Do we problematize sexuality by ironically portraying the gender roles? Or is this master-servant with one whip firmly in one party’s hand? (And we assume that’s a bad thing)…

Then comes the skeptical aspect and a regional linguistic element – the concept of a town named “Naquera” to my Mexican ears elicits a laugh. Why? Well, because “naco” is the word used to describe somebody who, ahem, lacks culture. Think redneck, but without intellectual stalwarts Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy defending the cause. It is an even worse (and homophobic) perjorative in Nicaraguan Spanish.

And thus I began my search for the truth from the comfort of my desk but in a surreal state of disbelief and suspicion. And then things got interesting…

I begin with the most astounding revelation: Naquera is indeed a Spanish town. Granted, this is no Madrid or San Sebastian, but confirmed existence is the first step towards greatness for any entity, be it person or place.

Still, things fall apart after that. The UD Naquera website is in the 404 twilight zone. Could that be due to financial difficulties? Maybe in Spain the clubs don’t focus as much on the online stuff; I recalled it impossible to find a Jozy Altidore jersey at the Villareal website last year. But a quick search showed even they had improved the tiendita online. And the second division,-Real Madrid beating-Acorn State site was totally money.

The most credible citation in the original article, to Superdeporte, led to another dead end. A search for the term “calendario” bore no fruit. The unoffical UD Naquera website has only existed since this December. The email on the “unofficial site” also oddly makes reference to the calendar and is udnaquera (at) hotmail. I am afraid to send an email….

And then another turn out of a dead end. I am not a member of fotolog, but the pics of young children when looking for “UD Naquera” makes me think this is way too poorly put together to be an elaborate hoax. I also found some old recaps of UD Naquera games. Additionally, Spain has had a pro women’s league since 1988, although the mighty Naqueras have been absent from the primera. But maybe it’s because they never made it to the lucrative topflight, instead trading charter flights for hitchhiking via semi-trucks?

I know what you are thinking – this wreaks of an elaborate internet hoax so it must be the work of…my younger brother. But there’s just one problem – Wikipedia remains un-scarred. The only entry on the Valencia region in Wikipedia mentions Naquera once in a segment on the Moorish conquest. This is either a poorly trained copycat, my little brother is losing his edge, or maybe, just maybe, this calendar exists and the “women + suffrage = non-stop perpetual linear advancement” equation is out of serious whack.

I have decided to let Susan B. Anthony rest in peace for now, be content that a real world town exists called “Naquera,” and hope that the calendar concept is some sort of hoax or a radical brand of postmodern feminism inspired by Judith Butler but beyond my liberal comprehension. And when me and the lady rock the Camino de Santiago in a few months time, rest assured we may first head southeast to visit this mythical town where Mexican and Nicaraguan pejoratives meet the harsh practicalities of a sport in recession.

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