Johny Terry, the face of Chelsea, has grown one humongous zit. The News of the World allegedly paid him and a known ticket scalper 10,000 pound for a private tour of the club’s training ground without the club’s permission. Still, as someone who routinely used the JCCC gym without paying, along with 50% of the individuals in there, this is not the bothersome part.
No, the worrisome part is what the News of the World discovered – Didier Drogba and Michael Ballack sharing the jaccuzzi. Now, if Joe Cole had been plopped in the hot water tank with those boys, I could understand. Or even Bosingwa. But just the two of them? Naturally, my mind wandered to the immensely intellectual dialogue which must have ensued before being rudely interrupted by the deviant Terry and the undercover journalists.
-So, Didier, how is your emerging markets investment portfolio looking?
-Well, Michael, while the global recession has put a damper on inflation, interest rates, and conventional savings accounts, the growth rate in many parts of Africa and Latin America continues to hum along to the tune of 10%
-[Eyes open; jaw drops] Really? And may I inquire as to what specific countries you are investing in? It seems like political instability would preclude a reasonable return in most of them.
-Well, Michael, a gentlemen never spills his secrets. And as for instability, in all markets one encounters risk. That’s why it’s ever so important to quantify the risk, look yourself in the eye, and ask: am I willing to do this? Can I live with the consequences?
-[Long pause] So, can I take the 20-25 yard right footed free kicks next game?
-[Long pause] No.
-[Long pause] Please?
-[John Terry, ticket scalper, and two men in fine Italian suits enter] Oh, hello John Terry and three totally random strangers. You kinda caught us at an odd moment.
-[John Terry rolls his eyes and leads three gentlemen out; Long pause] So, where were we?
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