One day after US Soccer sent out an email on how to score US World Cup tickets (a very affordable membership fee), Nike has rocked the once solid fan base of the Yank team. I normally leave fashion commentary to professionals , but even to my untrained eye, the new US kit presents a revolting array of du mode no-no’s.

First, here is a link to EPL Talk which broke the story. I refuse to show such filth on the site. A warning: the preceding image is quite graphic and not suitable for pregnant women, the elderly, children under the age of 25, and individuals with chronic back pain.

The designer claims the jerseys are a homage to the famous 1950’s US team that beat England at the World Cup 1-0. However, as one commentator already pointed out, the sash looks more beautify pageant than most-important-sports-tournament-on-Earth. And such a sash would be more of a homage to the 2006 US team’s performance, not the gritty 1950’s side.

I am not categorically anti-sash, though. I just believe the color scheme needs some tweaking. For example, perhaps the shirt could be blue and the sash dark-blue? The current color contrast may cut it at the Coca Cola Championship level, but not at South Africa 2010.

I’ve always believed in dressing-to-impress, but right now I can see Deuce or Donovan stalling after warm-ups, not wanting to unzip their tracksuit for fear of being heckled by middle school girls. Donovan would make a face and say “My coach made me wear it,” while Dempsey would just grunt and be unhappy to find himself outside the confines of West London.

But the girls would continue to heckle them.

Related posts:

1. Donovan & Cahill – SHAKE THE SHACKLES
2. This Loco American Sport of Soccer, Part 3
3. Togo Tragedy & Recidivist Discourse of Fear