14
Nov
Written by: Elliott
Sometimes, our defects come not from design, but are injuries of our own making. I will not get too harsh on Bradley for not shipping his key players back to Europe immediately post-Honduras-win-qualification, but the US has gaping holes at forward and centerback. After the Brazil win in Argentina, Kaka sipped sangria in Madrid while the Brazil beat Chile. What were Charlie Davie and Gooch doing in D.C.? I don’t know. But I do know the US has to Van Gogh back to the drawing board.
The remaining friendlies hardly make the mouth water. But, then again, the US played a hectic schedule against the cream of the crop these past two years, so I give credit where it is due. And against Slovakia, the US did show calmness on the ball and had the lion’s share of possession, despite the 1-0 loss. Although Slovakia did not attempt a full court press, this game was no stroll in the park, but we shall take a stroll through the life of Vincent Van Gogh as we reflect on the USMNT performance.
Insanely, Subversively Brilliant – Benny Feilhaber
What a lovely, placid setting for a cafe? How relaxing, right? Wrong. Vincent’s second most popular painting was meant “…to express the idea that the café is a place where one can ruin oneself, go mad or commit a crime.” Vincent also innovated in color selection – notice the night with no trace of black?
Benny Feilhaber drives Bob Bradley crazy. While capable of slide-rule passes and unfathomable switches, his propensity to dribble into danger could cost the US dearly. In the 22nd minute, his perfect pivot left three Slovakians for dead. In the 41st minute, his diving header stung the keeper’s palms. But in the 52nd minute, a careless pass gifted Slovakia a prime scoring chance. What are Benny’s true colors?
Vaingloriously Special -Michael Bradley
Contrary to popular belief, Vincent did not exactly love Amsterdam. He studied theology as a young man, but ultimately failed the final examination. He then embarked on his vagabond ways, living in Belgium, France, and the countryside of Holland. Only one pattern emerged: falling outs with relatives and sudden relocations.
Michael Bradley has similarly wandered about Europe, spending time in Holland before settling in Germany. On the pitch against Slovakia, his tackling and passing set the tone for lengthy spells of possession. Bradley patrolled the four corners of the pitch, always located ten feet from a teammate looking for an outlet. For all the build-up, Bradley failed the final examination – he lacked that special magic to carve out or take a clear cut chance.
A Humble Tree of the Forest - Carlos Bocanegra
Despite a fondness for absinthe sipping and a mental illness, the majority of Van Gogh’s paintings express optimism and a desired return to normalcy. He often drew works of nature, be it fields, streams, or plant life. Unlike other artists, Van Gogh never found a rich patron to fund his ways. He lived a humble, impoverished existence.
Carlos Bocanegra, despite his height and size, does not exactly stand out among a crowd. However, for a center back going unnoticed is a good thing. Aside from an occasional cross-field pass, you would never have seen Carlos on the field, his passing and positioning were so impeccable.
A Burst of Brightness -Clint Dempsey
Van Gogh spent a portion of his younger years in the South of France, where the bright sunlight inspired hm to paint paintings of…bright sunlight with stuff underneath it. He completed two entire series dedicated to sunflowers, all but confirming he had a mental illness. In one letter to a friend, he described his passion as equivalent to “a Marseillais eating bouillabaisse.”
Deuce had a brilliant Confederations Cup for the USMNT, but his form at the international level has dipped considerably. He did not feature for the US’s impressive victory away at Honduras, a sign that Fulham is winning the club/country tug of war. In this match, he had a lovely split to Eddie Johnson in the second half and a well-struck free kick, but often send heel passes to nobody. His bright summer has dimmed to a dark winter slump; fans can only hope for a spring resurgence.
A Walking Wounded – Jonathan Bornstein
Near the end of his life, while living in Arles, Van Gogh sought the company of Belgian painter Gauguin. However, the two fought passionately over their artwork, and one night Van Gogh confronted him with a razor blade (pre-Jamie Carragher, “How to Defend,” 2006). Van Gogh then panicked, fled to a local brothel, and cut off his lower earlobe. He never saw Gauguin again.
Jonathan Bornstein committed the cardinal sin, tugging on the Slovakian forward’s shirt to gift them an undeserved penalty against the run of play. While Bornstein did have a few nice crosses, too often his confused the opposition’s corner flag for his proper position on the pitch. Such naivete will be punished in South Africa, as self-inflicted wounds hurt the most.
The Prisoners’ Dilemma – Robbie Rogers
Vincent did seek treatment for his mental ills, seeing various doctors and living for an extended period at an institution in France. He was heavily supervised, sedated, and only allowed one walk outside per day, accompanied. During one of those walks, he painted a group of prisoners subject to similar limitations.
Meet Robbie. Robbie likes to run. Robbie likes to run around in circles. Robbie did little to justify even a bench role at South Africa, failing to connect with the wingback or the forwards in any meaningful way. And his setpiece delivery was atrocious – repeatedly failing to clear the first defender.
The Doubter – Steve Cherundolo
In his final year of life, Vincent lived with his brother Theo, in the south of France. However, the mental illness, of which Van Gogh was acutely aware, ultimately crippled his artistic endeavors. Vincent, frustrated, one day walked out to a field and shot himself in the chest. He would die two days later.
Steve Cherundolo has taken the field in two World Cups for the Yanks and been a consistent started for Hannover in the Bundesliga for an eternity. Still, cracks in the armor have surfaced. In the 60th minute, his poorly timed tackle missed both the ball and man – leaving acres of space for a Slovakian counter. Only the divine intervention of Jonathon Spector saved his skin. ‘Dolo can still get forwad and cross, but his suspect defending has only grown more suspicious.
Overrated -Jozy Altidore
Is that a castle? A mountain? A castle-mountain where some supervillain schemes a town takeover? Of all of Van Gogh’s pieces, this is the postcard most likely to be turned over and used as a coaster. Don’t let this opiate for the masses trigger endorphin-induced mental lapses. The stars aren’t even proportionally sized.
Everybody loves Jozy Altidore. The kid has lots of potential, but none of it was on display this game. The dilemma was indecision – he often received the ball in good spots, but pondered his options two seconds too long. If ever there was a portion to make a trigger finger itchy, Jozy could use a bottle-full.
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