And the second half hummed along for all of five minutes before the lights went out. No, not as in a lights out play, but rather, the lights went out. Another power outage, another moment of class for a tense playoff game on ESPN. David Beckham had finally made the playoffs in the US Mickey Mouse league, but not even Walt Disney would have permitted such shenanigans at one of his amusement parks.

The ESPN executives wiped the drool from their lips. If such power outages occurred just a bit more frequently, the advertising revenue would double, nay, triple. Yet the bystander fan grew tiresome of such troubles – soccer viewing depended on rhythm, hence injury time instead of instant replay. But had the governator forgotten to pay the electric bill? Did Amigo energy not accept IOU’s?

Bruce Arena, despite living in LA for two years and counting on David Beckham as a player/personnel fashion consultant, continued to dress like a highschool English teacher. He nervously buttoned and unbuttoned his tan jacket and fidgeted with the black turtle-neck. “Umm, today’s five dollar word is cross-cum-shot.”

I wish I could say the second half was full of macho defensive posturing. I wish I could say that Omar Gonzalez and Bobby Boswell were in fine form, repelling attacks with biceps flexing and legs-a-kicking. But, as is too often the case, negligence was the name of the game. The connecting of passes was at a premium, and a shot on goal? Unfathomable.

Around the 73rd minute, the ESPN Deportes talking heads began to mention “tiempo extra” and penalty kicks. They did not need a crystal ball to realize that Ricardo Clark had been the best player on the pitch. And when a holding midfielder is MVP, the scoreline is tighter than pair of Sergio Ramos green-striped jeans.

In the 78th minute, Donovan Ricketts diverted a Ching header off the crossbar, but this was a hiccup among an otherwise eating of a quite mundane bowl of soup. Sigh. The game did not deserve extra-time, but seldom do meritocratic ideals translate to the harsh practicalities of reality.

The other Donovan, Landon, made Harry Houdini look conspicuously present. The Yank did nothing except for a late, poorly executed slide tackle in the 85th minute. He saw yellow for his efforts. A draw was a just result – neither team deserved to win. But due to long-standing corporate sponsorship commitments, both could not lose…

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1. Donovan & Cahill – SHAKE THE SHACKLES