The USMNT has qualified for the World Cup, yet questions remain. Under the reign of Bob Bradley, the US has registered important and impressive away victories in both rounds of qualifying, and also made the finals of three tournaments. But two finalist appearances mask disappointing returns – a 5-0 drubbing on homesoil and a 3 goal second half collapse.

What should you, the fan, make of this relatively short cycle of events? How can one separate the truth from the ficciones? And how can the US recover from recent injuries in key positions? The great Argentine author Jorge Luis Borges has graciously agreed to elucidate the situation. Or at least answer a few questions as only he can.

After the Confederations Cup, many fans rode high on the hopes of an improved USMNT. Yet the 3-0 loss to Costa Rica brought them crashing down to earth. What lessons can Bob Bradley learn from this rollercoaster of emotions?

It is right to look to the past, because the past, unlike the present or the future, cannot be changed. The past is a dream, yet this dream is not sketched on stone. The past changes everytime I remember it, everytime I read something new and of interest.

Bob Bradley appears set in his 4-4-2 formation, and while he has had success, is this a case of stubbornness or conviction? Could European foes expose the paperthin two man midfield?

As Kipling said, “There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays,/ and-every-single-one-of-them-is-right.” His way may be one of the right ways. Usually, one has a starting point and a goal. That is the inspiration. What comes in between is the invention. You must concoct something to bridge the two points. Every craftsmen has his own method, and I respect that.

Landon Donovan has been in fine form for his MLS club the Galaxy & the USMNT. Yet some fear a bench-warming move to Europe in January. How would such a move hinder the US´s chances? Should he stay in America?

I suppose every player has his own private mythology. When I think of America, I think of Walt Whitman. Both were and are a bit of a vagabond, yet both have created a unique mythology. You feel for Donovan that he is lonely on foreign shores, you are Donovan. Yet you are uneasy with yourself. That is the myth of Donovan.

Will Gooch´s move to AC Milan, where he has seen limited action on an atrocious side, hurt the US at South Africa?

Well I´m not a very big fan of Gooch, you see. He is too physical of a player, yet also fanciful. But of course he has moved to AC Milan, a fantastic move for any player. And I know others like him, so I won´t dwell on the matter.

Editor’s note: since this interview, Gooch’s injury prognostic after the Costa Rica game has him out for six months.

How would you describe this USMNT team – a counterattacking dynamo or impotent in possession?

Well I´m not really sure I have a message on such matters. I´m nobody of importance. The present profoundly disinterests me, not so much a disappointment as genuine disinterest, if such a thing exists. I feel nothing genuine and won´t wade in such waters.

In what ways do you feel that Bradley has changed the script of the USMNT in comparison to Bruce Arena? Are we more comfortable in possession?

I suppose that each generation must rewrite the tomes of the past, but they must do it in a slightly different way. When I write a poem, that one has already written down any amount of times, but I have to rediscover it. That´s my moral duty. We all attempt slight variations, but the language itself can hardly be changed.

The dagger is a constant device in your ficciones – and in the last two USMNT games, Landon Donovan has provided two wonderfully sharp dagger balls to assist Charlie Davies and Conor Casey. How will this tactic fair against well drilled European defenses?

Well, that brings to mind a story about a young man and an old man, two gauchos. The younger man insulted the older man, as young people tend to do, and the old man insisted on a duel. The two accorded on a time and place, and then went on their way. When the two met, the young man brandished a pistol, yet the older man had a large dagger in one hand and a small dagger in the other. He said to the young man – choose your weapon. The young man promptly apologized.

When exactly did this US team cease to play Arena-ball and become Bradley´s side? Was it the Gold Cup final victory over Mexico in 2007?

Well, it´s a question of honesty. If you want to renew something you must show you can do what has been done. You can´t begin by innovation. A poet could not begin by freeverse. Start with a sonnet or a stanza. Then, as you progress, you can set forth on your own two feet. But standing is the hard part, and we must first stand on the shoulders of those before us.

Will the US win the World Cup?

Such questions, while seemingly straightforward, ignore something very important: there is not one future, but many futures. As such, I decline to comment. In one future, yes, the US will win. In another, I´m not so sure. And in another, the question is never raised.

Note: this is an obvious work of satire. Jorge Luis Borges is deceased as of 1986. Click here to read a real interview.

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1. USMNT – The End of the Affair?
2. Gonzalo Higuain, the Next…Gonzalo Higuain
3. This Loco American Sport of Soccer – Part 1