If the taste of victory is sweet, then the sabor [taste] of defeat is amargo [bitter]. For this lesson, we will focus on a very sensitive subject – how you feel when your team loses. And no, you are not an eternally cheery optimist.
We begin with a close look at exactly how your team lost. Was it a low-scoring, close game? Well then, at least it was apretado. Or did your team get crushed? In Spain, those wily siesta sleepers say ¨darle un buen baño.” Literally, ¨give them a good bath.” The etymology is unclear, but let´s remember that basic hygiene began in the Americas, not Iberia.
One could also say that the game “fue una goleada.” Basically, it was a goalfest. The listener would then infer from your tears, shaking, and gasps of despair that your team bore the brunt end of the match. “Acorn who”, they would ask, patting your shoulder. “There, there.”
My preferred phrase is central american – “cajeteada.” Cajetas are tasty cookies, also popular in Mexico, and vary in substance from coconut to peanuts to milk. What all cajetas have in common is that the substance is flattened to thin, crunchy perfection. Sortof like your team, except for the taste. “Cajetear” thus is to mash. And the cajeteada is the mashed.
But perhaps you are a person of pocas palabras [few words[, the silent type [un tipo callado]. In that case, you could simply say “perder”, to lose. You would say “mi equipo perdio” [my team lost]. Just like in English, you can also perder the faith [la fe]. You can lose faith in the team [el equipo], the coach [el entrenador], or everything [todo)]
But you may also be downright enojado [angry]. Did your team fail to hold the lead and fall victim to a remontada [comeback]? Montar means “to mount” and is generally associated with horses. Thus, remontar, like the English refrain, is to get back on the horse. Or, perhaps, simply, your team´s goalie fluffed an easy shot or cross. ¡Se la comio! He ate it – think American surfer.
We end with a note on pronunciation. In the case of the double r, the r should roll like a Riquelme thru-ball. ¿Yours? Well, I don´t want to offend you, but it´s kind of a… causa perdida. But it´s okay – focalizate [focus]. I can render assistance in one crucial area – the diphthong.
I assure you the diphthong is not the latest in skimpy Ibiza swimwear. The diphthong is the sound of two or more consecutive vowels in a single word. Think aceite [oil] or seis [six]. I have a very simple trick for pronouncing the “ei” diphthong correctly – the fonz. What does the fonz say upon entering a room? Heyyyyyyy, as in, s-heyyyy-te. It works. I swear.
Your homework is simple – watch your beloved team lose and complain in Spanish. And when you skip the channel for a sunny weekend in Iberia, be sure your diphthong is not see through.
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