I have one simple question: if the Spurs have truly spent a ton in the transfer market, then why do you not hate them as much as City? Granted, the Carlos Tevez posters were poor taste, but surely someone must hate Tottenham for their exorbitant cash splashery. Are Arsenal fans merely ahead of the curve? Explain yourself!

More importantly, where is all this money coming from? Is Harry Redknapp’s football manager deal really that lucrative? Or perhaps the Spurs board, in close consultation with an honorary member named Madoff, has imported the Pompey-funny-numbers-approach. Is an AIG mega sponsorship deal in the works?

Then it hit me – the ace in the hole, the trick up the sleeve. What was Spurs’ biggest moneymaker? Berbatov. BERBATOV. Of course! Just look at this paragraph closely…

Did you see that nebulous little tidbit about the Berbatov sale? The ever-so-crucial detail which will cause gold to rain down on Radio Shack -White Hart Lane? Look again.

Clauses! The deal has performance clauses! This means Manchester United could still pay an arm-and-a-leg to Spurs depending on Berbatov’s form. Thus far in his illustrious Red Devils career he has 13 league goals in one-and-a- half years. So at roughly $15 million dollars per goal, Spurs are in the clear. And if the deal is for $20 million per goal, they are sitting pretty.

Now if only Harry could clear his good name. And one can only begin to fathom the cosmic tension in the universe as Spurs fans watch every United game, holding their breath and hoping for a Berbatov appearance, while, on the other hand, United fans watch the same game and…

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