Okay class, some troublemakers have come whining that my Spanish is neither filthy nor officially exiled from the Real Academia. You want to know the dirty stuff? The truly filthy stuff? The stuff which your highschool Spanish teacher understands – and it makes the hair on his neck stand on end? Here are a few links. But that is all you will get from me. For now.
AHEM, we turn to the names for the positions on the field. In Spain, they love to call the goalie a “portero.” They also call the goal “puerta”, which is the same as a port of entry or a door. However, here in ye olde Americas, a goal is an “arco” and a goalie is an “arquero.” A portero is usually a doorman, and don’t you think Iker Casillas has a future in that profession after retirement?
As for the midfield, known in colloquial English as “centermids.” They can be “centrocampista”, “mediocampista”, or “volante.” Volante, however, has some key variations. Claude Makelele would be “volante de contencion,” while Zidane would be a “volante creativo.” Florent Malouda would be either an “inutil” or an “agujero negro”.
Yes, look up those words. Yes, I know, it’s not funny. For you at least.
But seriously, the word for a winger like Malouda is “extremo.” The sidelines are referred to as “la banda.” A cross from the wings would be a “centro”, while the proper adjective for most of Malouda’s crosses would be “feo.” Look it up. I am glad you concur. You would also refer to Malouda as “lento.” Look it up. Agreed.
Your assignment for this week is to watch an ESPN Deportes gamecast of the English Premier League. And you must shout “goooooooool” for as long as the announcer. Lungpower is essential to speaking Spanish.
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